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    中考失誤作文:成長日記

    來源:互聯網  作者:wangzp
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      2000年6月1日星期一天氣:閃電加暴雨hsW樂學作文網-中考高考滿分作文,中小學優秀作文精選
    hsW樂學作文網-中考高考滿分作文,中小學優秀作文精選
      今天真是倒霉的一天,我本想在同桌試卷上瞄一眼,沒想到被老師發現立即當頭一頓臭罵,還不解氣,把我叫進辦公室里,語重心長地教育我:“學習是你自己的事,考試是為了檢測你對知識的鞏固情況,看別人有什么意思呢?到時候后悔的可是你自己。”老師,我明白了,我再也不偷看別人的試卷了。?hsW樂學作文網-中考高考滿分作文,中小學優秀作文精選
    hsW樂學作文網-中考高考滿分作文,中小學優秀作文精選
      2004年6月1日星期三天氣:雨?hsW樂學作文網-中考高考滿分作文,中小學優秀作文精選
    hsW樂學作文網-中考高考滿分作文,中小學優秀作文精選
      我在床邊無可奈何地看著奶奶永遠地閉上眼睛,我使勁搖晃著奶奶的身子想讓奶奶醒過來,媽媽張著又紅又腫的眼睛把我拉開,她告訴我:奶奶已經死了,再也不會醒過來了,不要太傷心,讓奶奶安心地去吧。?hsW樂學作文網-中考高考滿分作文,中小學優秀作文精選
    hsW樂學作文網-中考高考滿分作文,中小學優秀作文精選
      此刻,我終于明白了“珍惜”兩字,要珍惜你擁有的一切,不要等它離去了才后悔,那已經遲了。?hsW樂學作文網-中考高考滿分作文,中小學優秀作文精選
    hsW樂學作文網-中考高考滿分作文,中小學優秀作文精選
      2005年6月1日星期六天氣:多云?hsW樂學作文網-中考高考滿分作文,中小學優秀作文精選
    hsW樂學作文網-中考高考滿分作文,中小學優秀作文精選
      今天,我們班的一位男生偷偷塞給我一張紙條,我打開紙條一看,頓時滿臉通紅,心跳加速,以往只在電視上才看得到的畫面,今天卻發生在我身上了。我回家以后,趕緊將這件事告訴媽媽,媽媽笑著對我說:“孩子,這很正常,遇到這種事并不可怕,可怕的是不能理智地處理這類事情。你應該告訴那位男生,現在還不是談這類事的時候,現在你們的目標是好好學習,否則你們會終生遺憾和悔恨的。”?hsW樂學作文網-中考高考滿分作文,中小學優秀作文精選
    hsW樂學作文網-中考高考滿分作文,中小學優秀作文精選
      2007年6月14日星期四天氣:雨?hsW樂學作文網-中考高考滿分作文,中小學優秀作文精選
    hsW樂學作文網-中考高考滿分作文,中小學優秀作文精選
      明天就要中考了,此時的我忐忑不安,我已無心再去看書了。打開點播頻道聽聽歌。可一看點歌后的祝福詞:“祝某某在中考中取得好成績。”我又不禁緊張起來,懷里好像揣著一只小兔子——七上八下的。剛才,表姐還打來電話,勸我不要緊張不要心慌,好好考。?hsW樂學作文網-中考高考滿分作文,中小學優秀作文精選
    hsW樂學作文網-中考高考滿分作文,中小學優秀作文精選
      呵!我明天就要上戰場了,我要養精蓄銳,為了自己的理想往前沖,我不會放棄的。?hsW樂學作文網-中考高考滿分作文,中小學優秀作文精選
    hsW樂學作文網-中考高考滿分作文,中小學優秀作文精選
      總結:每個人都在成長,成長的路上總會有幾顆小石子或小花,讓我們踢開小石子,采上一朵小花,向著前方努力再努力吧。?hsW樂學作文網-中考高考滿分作文,中小學優秀作文精選
    hsW樂學作文網-中考高考滿分作文,中小學優秀作文精選
      【誤區點擊】hsW樂學作文網-中考高考滿分作文,中小學優秀作文精選
    hsW樂學作文網-中考高考滿分作文,中小學優秀作文精選
      這篇文章在立意和結構上都沒有問題,應該說體例還是很靈動的,它截取幾個片斷來表現成長歷程。之所以被判為三類卷,主要是基于以下幾個理由:一是取材似乎沒有讓人眼睛一亮的感覺,缺乏新鮮性和穿透力,過于低幼。二是敘事很單薄,雖然片斷構思法有個先天的缺陷,就是在有限的篇幅里難以精雕細琢,但是這并不意味著就可以平鋪直敘泛泛而寫了,文章幾件事情連起來一看似乎有一種蜻蜓點水的感覺,顯然缺少敘事精華震撼之處。三是語言不夠生動。四是體例上還不夠統一,第三個畫面少了點題之筆。?hsW樂學作文網-中考高考滿分作文,中小學優秀作文精選
    hsW樂學作文網-中考高考滿分作文,中小學優秀作文精選
      【點石成金】hsW樂學作文網-中考高考滿分作文,中小學優秀作文精選
    hsW樂學作文網-中考高考滿分作文,中小學優秀作文精選
      要想讓這篇文章升格,要從文采和敘事、描寫兩方面著手。一篇優美的文章,在立意契合的前提下,沒有比文采更為重要的了,所以潤飾字句是首先要做的事情,使文字更富有表現力。其次要集中筆力,在有限的篇幅里讓畫面感突出,要更加注重人物和場面描寫,那么敘事豐厚了,內容也就充實起來了。hsW樂學作文網-中考高考滿分作文,中小學優秀作文精選

    上一篇:中考零分作文:向前!向前!向前!(北京考生) 下一篇:中考失誤作文:亮出自己

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